last night i had a dream that i moved into an apartment and it was haunted. like really obviously and freakily haunted. only sometimes when you'd walk in it was just normal (so, you know, no one would believe me). but i always knew it was going to be haunted when i'd approach my front door and Julia Roberts would walk out. yeah, Julia Roberts. she'd always walk out saying the exact same thing. and i'd know when i walked in there'd be something under the covers making monster noises and the mirror would show the back of my body instead of the front.
why hasn't anyone invented internet hypnosis yet? wait, has somebody? it just seems like that would be a way easy way to become hypnotized. or wait, do you have to have your eyes closed to get hypnotized? because if so, how are you supposed to look at the dangling watch the person saying "you are getting very sleepy" is holding? or wait, is that an old practice?
i just asked google if that is an old practice and i got tons of hits for "how to hypnotize someone without them knowing (4 easy steps)". really? is that considered socially acceptable to do these days? because if so, that ties right into my question about internet hypnosis. what percentage of the population sits and stares at a computer all day long? that wasn't a question leading to an
answer from me. i want to know. because if it's a lot, which i assume it is, then people could hypnotize you without you knowing it (in 4 easy steps) all the time and then have their way with you (hot). employers, news sites, H&M, people with blogs...
the South Dakota legislature is considering a bill that would make it legal to kill doctors performing abortions.
The bill, sponsored by state Rep. Phil Jensen, a committed foe of abortion rights, alters the state's legal definition of justifiable homicide by adding language stating that a homicide is permissible if committed by a person "while resisting an attempt to harm" that person's unborn child or the unborn child of that person's spouse, partner, parent, or child.
if South Dakota is going to go completely crazy, i have some way better ideas about who it should be legal to murder. My suggestions:
1. people who drive below the speed limit
2. people who talk to me when i'm peeing
3. people who like to pop other people's zits (or at least tell me about it)
4. people who are assholes
5. Brad Womack
6. people who awkwardly over-share on their facebook walls
do you know every word to Air Supply's Making Love Out of Nothing at All? if not, i can help you. trust me, you are going to want to know every word when you turn this song on in your car with the volume at eleven (or more realistically at something like 42.) i mean, just look at these lyrics from two climactic moments in the song:
The beating of my heart is a drum
and it's lost and it's looking for a rhythm like you You can take the darkness from the pit of the night and turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright I've got to follow it 'cause ev'rything I know Well it's nothing till I give it to you
I can make the run or stumble I can make the final block And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle I can make all the stadiums rock
have you ever in your life seen lyrics better than these? no way. he can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle! who doesn't want a lover like that? the beating of his heart is a drum and it's lost and it's looking for a rhythm like you! so smooth! swoon.
the last verse is a little guilt-trippy so we'll just skip over that for now. learn this song. and then belt it out. your life will never be the same.
if you're interested in more news about high-quality musicians and art, let me remind you that a new Radiohead album was announced today (you too?) and Arcade Fire won best album at the Grammy's last night. here is something delightful a friend sent me: http://whoisarcadefire.tumblr.com/
here are some highlights:
and my favorite:
oh molly. do the Grammy's have something to do with real life? you just watched a performance of Gwyneth Paltrow and muppets. muppets, molly.
favorite movies of 2011. i've got two animated films on my list this year! i'm linking trailers for a lot of them. but not for all because do you really need to watch the trailer for Toy Story 3 or Inception? you know what, eff it, trailers are fun.
the order of most of these was pretty much a toss-up (including #1)
10. Winter's Bone man, this movie was so so well-done. but, oh geez, it was difficult to watch. not in the Black Swan sense, but could things be more bleak than this movie? nonetheless, so good.
9. Mother in my opinion, Hye-ja Kim made this movie. it's dark and funny and tense. and keeps you in tight the whole way through. loved.
8. The Secret in Their Eyes murder mystery and love story (with excellent acting.) win/win(/win)
7. Get Low i think i adored this movie more than a lot of people but i can't help myself. Bill Murray and Robert Duvall? duh. this movie was funny and interesting and had Robert Duvall in. also, it may or may not have made me bawl my eyes out (all the way to my car) which made Keck lol. but what do you expect with a movie focused on an old person?
6. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World i kinda felt like i was on speed the whole time. or drank too much coffee. but i loved it.
5. Toy Story 3 yeah, i cried
although, look, i cannot hear Randy Newman without thinking of this:
Family Guy - Randy Newman
4. The Secret of Kells you maybe haven't seen this movie yet. i only have because Netflix recommended it to me. it's about enlightenment through art and writing and it's about courage and it is so so cute. the animation is all hand-drawn and it is honestly magical. that, along with the music and the story is just so charming.
3. A Prophet i guess the foreign films win for me this year. this movie was !!! i'm not going to lie, it nearly had me in the fetal position a few times. but it's worth it.
2. True Grit i mean...do i really need to say anything about this one?
1. Inception or this one?
honorable mentions:
Never Let Me Go Shutter Island Catfish Harry Potter and the blah blah blah (what, I loved it) The Social Network Black Swan (although it is highly likely i will never watch this movie again)
also, there are a lot of supposedly great movies from 2010 that i have yet to see, so who knows, this whole list could be totally different in a month. #noncommittal #icannotbelieveijustusedahashtaginmyblog
