Surviving Swine Flu!!!

song i'm listening to while typing this post: "i'm a pilot," by fanfarlo (thanks keck)

did you really think this was going to be about swine flu? well, you're wrong. i just haven't blogged in a while and i needed to catch your attention. it's like at my old job when we'd send emails to this guy who always ignored our emails, we'd put "free cookies!" or "party tonight!" in the subject line because we knew he'd read them (and he did.)

but back to swine flu. CALM DOWN, you don't have it! it's just a cold! if you start throwing up blood (or slop,) i might be convinced. ugh, i hate swine flu/swine-related jokes.

i have an assistant at work now. someone suggested i call him Cog (and i do [in private conversations {with that one person.}]) it is so great having Cog...er...i mean, an assistant. i am slowly working my way toward NOT working 60 hours a week. since i last measured two weeks ago, i already like my life 45% more. thank you, CIMA (Cog, I Mean Assistant)

now i have time for other things again. movies, concerts, making out, meals, friday night lights, dinking around, cleaning, the gym...

i decided the only way i was going to make it to the gym this upcoming cold, dark, long, and cold and dark and long winter ahead of us is if i got myself a gym buddy. now, i've been wanting a good gym buddy for a while, but haven't had much luck. but i finally found one and just in time! we are MTB. we live near each other, we like to work out at the same general time of day, we like to stay at the gym approximately the same amount of time as each other and we both find the decision of which tv to be in front of on the treadmill to be very (very) important.

yesterday was our 2nd big date at the gym. we strategically planned our time so that we'd be moving from the treadmills to the ellipticals right as the office was starting. however, we got there a little earlier than planned so that by the time the office started we had been on the treadmills way longer than we normally would be and were both exhausted. but neither of us said anything to the other (you don't want to appear weak on your 2nd gym date with a new gym buddy.)

i stepped off the elliptical to get a drink. in this particular area of the gym, there is a step up to the machines that is about a foot and a half high. when going back to my elliptical i tripped over it. but i didn't fall. instead, i did the super embarrassing-looking stumbling/running forward really fast to try to catch myself thing. only, because the step-up ground was so much higher than the ground where i had started from, i was doing this super embarrassing-looking stumbling/running forward really fast to try to catch myself thing hunched really closely to the ground. AND, i had to grab onto some girls machine to steady myself. so basically i looked as dumb as you could POSSIBLY look in this situation. the only thing that could have made me look MORE idiotic would be if my pants had snagged on the step and ripped off. OR if i had nervous vomited.

i think i was too tired to be as embarrassed as i should have been (i should have been really effing embarrassed.) i don't think my gym buddy saw, though. phew! she might have broken up with me and we're still in the honeymoon phase.

me llamo t-bone la araña discoteca

song i'm listening to while typing this post: "for me this is heaven," by jimmy eat world

one time a posted about my number one celebrity crush. i have matured so.much. since then. i've had a new number one celebrity crush for some time now, and i feel i am overdue in posting about him.

#1 celebrity crush: joel mchale. how can you not have a crush on this guy?

he's really sexy and funny. and i think we can all agree that funny adds like 10 points to the sexy scale.

imagine how i felt in finding out joel mchale would be in a new sitcom this fall! i was more excited than that one time i found out i just still had shingles--not an ovarian abnormality!

so far i have really been enjoying community. although, i think abed has been more delightful than anyone else on the show thus far (plus i am just happy to see a lovable palestinian character.) two of my favorite abed scenes thus far:





but wait, this post is still about my number 1 celebrity crush, joel mchale. watch him in action:



joel has a degree in history and played college football for two years. he also has a master's in fine arts! also, did i mention he's funny? remember those burger king commercials he was in that were funny? also, he has been married for like 13 or 14 years. i like that. and he's a dad. a really cute dad, i bet.

let's look at him one more time:swoon.

liz's uterus fell out

song i'm listening to while typing this post: "five fingers," by aesop rock

stuff has happened. things. events.

i went to new york city (to visit this girl [the best]) blah blah blah. then i went to albany. yada yada yada. then i left my phone there. then that sucked. then i went back to work. sigh. then i answered about 300 emails. then i had the most awkward experience ever over a delicious salad. then i got my phone back. hooray! then i went to donut falls. it was snowy and icy. it was like an ice skating hike. so hardcore. then i had a sister date. then i made brownies. sweet lord, hoon loves those. then i ate pumpkin pancakes. delish! then i worked a bunch. then i finally got my office (it has a blue wall!) then i ordered myself a desk. hooray again! then 30 Rock came back into my life. then i made brownies again. good heavens, hoon loves those. then my dad called me about my PERSONAL LIFE!! then i ate pad thai. then i started assembling said desk. then i left work after only 6 hours in the office.

so...things are good.

eff

hey there little lovers, why we fightin' with each other?

song i'm listening to while typing this post: "berlin," by black rebel motorcycle club

things i've learned this week:

1. fall is on it's way!
2. i am still apathetic about blogging
3. "how bad can someone mess up a trim?" is not really a question you want answered.
4. people hear "shingles" and automatically go to "scabies" in their heads.
5. life is short and we could die at any time on any day. this is why i spend as much time as possible on the internet and watching reality t.v.
6. not a single non-family person in my life likes the university of michigan. wtf acquaintances?
7. no matter how badly i'm stressing about money, and how much i don't care about cutting out other things i want to spent money on (a decent [or even adequate] haircut,) i always still want to buy shoes. why, shoes? whyyyy? i hate you!! (jk, i love you shoes. bff. TL 4ever.)
8. there is an unspoken rule that if you are mormon and born outside of happy valley, you have to hate BYU. i wonder if non-indianian catholics are the same way...
9. there are a lot of teen dramas on t.v. and all of the actors look the same
10. my insurance sucks ass (mom, if you've found my blog already, please excuse my language [for the past 2.5 years])

song i'm listening to while typing this post: "that's because you drive me," by acid house kings.

why i'm going to be a bad mother:

1. i have this cute little plant that i can't stop from dying. no matter how hard i try it is still just dying, one dead leaf at a time. am i not nurturing enough?

2. i dropped an egg on the floor (it broke.) i was told in high school that if i couldn't take care of an egg, there is NO WAY i can take care of a child.

it's the new kris kross

the fusion of hip hop and skinny jeans delights me